“Mindset versus skillset. People have asked me a lot recently, very interesting how the same question will come up over a few days, “Cami, how can I feel more confident when I go out networking? How can I be like you?” They say. It’s so silly when they say that because here’s the thing. This is a mindset. It is a mindset. When we’re talking about how to be confident, and how to posture ourselves, how to present ourselves, how to bring the product, the packaging into the networking in a very powerful confident way, it all starts with the mindset.
People always want to know, “What do I say when people ask me this? What do I say if I don’t do a 30-second elevator pitch? What do I do to create a good first impression?” In other words, people are looking for the skills. They’re looking for the skills, the what, what, what. That’s all well and good. We’ve got to learn good skills. We need to understand body language. We need to understand the different personality styles. We need to understand how to have a conversation, how to use two of these and one of these, and all of those things. However, it starts with the right mindset.
For me personally, I can tell you as I mentioned earlier in my story, there was a time in my life when I was making a lot of really bad choices. There was lot of addiction. There was a lot of bad relationships. There was a lot of bad business choices. There were all kinds of things that had me in a really, really low energy place. What started this whole transformation for me was being able to start reading again, start feeding my mind, right? Garbage in, garbage out as they say with computers. It’s the same thing with our mind, especially even more so.
I would suggest to people who are looking to be more confident, number one, to start consuming different information. Who are you hanging out with? Are you hanging out with people that think that building a business is silly or that would rather be out going to a bar and drinking instead of going to an event where they might meet some other people? In other words, who we hang out with and our association is really important.
Getting the books, the audios, the different things … Here’s the thing about reading and listening to audiobooks and watching videos that are inspirational. Not only, I thought about this just the other day, not only are we bringing in better information, not only are we growing and enhancing, not only are we doing that, but also because we’re doing that, we’re not doing whatever we were doing before. In other words, it’s like double fold. Not only are we doing something positive and good, we’re not doing the negative or at the very least, the not doing anything or watching TV.
It’s all about the mindset. It’s so important to fuel confident. There’s a difference in walking into an event like this, and when we start talking about skillset and having good body language, and understanding how we’re posturing ourselves both physically and in our mind, and centering together. That’s really important. There’s a reason why people are like this. There’s a reason why they’re hanging out over in the corner not talking to people. There’s a reason why they’re coming in late to an event or leaving early. There’s a reason why they don’t feel comfortable approaching another group and introducing themselves. There are reasons for all these different skills that I can teach.
I can teach you how to walk up to a group and introduce yourself, whether there’s one person or 10 of them there. I can teach you all those things, but if the mindset, if the mindset isn’t in the game, all those skills, all that skillset is not even going to be used. It’s like when I teach people how to make phone calls that are salespeople. I always teach that it’s not just who we contact, and it’s not just what we say, it’s how we say it, and who we are being when we say it.
In other words, people will ask me, “Well, Cami, what do I say when they ask me my commission? What do I say when they ask me why my service is different from someone else’s? What do I say with …” It’s all, “What do I say?” what, what, what, and that’s all well and good. That’s the skillset. That’s the scripts. That’s the words, and that’s very important. However, I’ll give you all the scripts you need for free, all the scripts you need for free, but if we don’t know how to say it and who we are being to make our point come even more clear, then we’re not going to use them anyway.
This tip, this mistake that I find is that people want to learn a skillset when their mindset is not in a place where they’re going to use it anyway. Let’s work on our mindset. Let me give you a fun example just because it comes to mind. Several years ago, I was playing with the Make Wish Foundation. They had a fundraiser that was playing Black Jack. With the Black Jack, there were people there that were selling the tickets. They were selling raffle tickets. I was there the first year selling raffle tickets, but I learned that if I wanted to get into the room with the Black Jack dealers and go upstairs, that I had to become a Black Jack dealer. The next year, I decided to become a Black Jack dealer.
Now, I can tell you I had really no interest in learning to be a Black Jack dealer. Some people do it, move to Vegas, and make a career out of it. Some people are really into cards and all that. Here’s the thing. The reason why I did that was because I wanted to have something interesting that I could talk to people about when I was out meeting people. I thought, “How cool that be if …” I mean, imagine, you walk up to a group of people, you don’t really have a whole lot to say. You’re not really sure what to say. At the time, I would walk up to people and just say, “I’m taking a class right now being a Black Jack dealer.” It just created conversation. It broke the ice. It gave us something to talk about.
See, my mindset at the time was, “How can I make myself more interesting?” I want to be more interested in what other people are saying. There’s no doubt about it. Remember, two of these and one of these, two of these and one of these. We want to be interested in the other person more than being interesting ourselves. However, to have different things that are awesome to talk about just makes sense.
I learned how to be a Black Jack dealer, and by the way, I was really, really bad at it. The night that I did the Black Jack dealing, I’m telling you, if I had been in Vegas, I think I would be dead out in the desert by now because I really messed it up. Great thing about it was all the people that were playing Black Jack knew it was a fundraiser, so they forgave me for it. I wasn’t that great at it. However, it gave me something fun to talk about. I used that for months talking about, “I’m going to class to be a Black Jack dealer. Hey, two weeks from now, remember we talked about doing the elevator pitch. That bitch is dead. Let’s not do the elevator pitch.”
What I had was something to talk about when I was out, “Hey, you know what? I’m doing this Black Jack dealing for the Make A Wish Foundation.” It gave me something fun to talk about. It’s all about having the right mindset of “Am I doing things in my life that are interesting? Am I reading books? Am I watching videos that are inspirational and educational? Am I feeding my brain with the news, and who’s getting hired into the White House, and how expensive is the price of gas?”
Focus on your mindset. If you want to be more confident when you go to networking events if you want to be able to communicate better with people, have other things to talk about. If you don’t have a hobby, get one, get one. I’m doing an event a few months ago, and I’m making this point about make sure that you’re an interesting person. Make sure you have something going on. I looked at this woman in the audience and I said, “For example, what are you working on right now? What have you got going on?” This woman was like, she was totally dumbfounded. She said, “I’m not working on anything.”
I recovered from that, and I continue to talk, and then I said, “Listen, if you’re not working on something,” and I pointed at her, I said, “then you need to start working on something, then start working. Get a hobby. Read a book that you can talk about.” There so many ways, so many ways to work on our mindset, to work on having something interesting to talk about. Mindset versus skillset. Do you find yourself reading this book, watching these videos, trying to learn about networking from a place of, “How do I do it as supposed to who am I supposed to be being? How can I be, how can I be that which I want to be perceived as because when I’m being that, I will naturally do that which that person would do? Then I will naturally have that which they will have which is the right mindset so that the skillset can be applied.””